This is going to be a bit of a difficult post.
I once went to a concert in the shady suburban area of the bad part of town in northern Columbus. Well, I should say that I went there with the intentions of doing such, but ended up scalping my tickets, as it was a very weird place. Not intending to get my money back, I just walked to the front of the building, where a rather obnoxious man was standing in line. He was the only one in line.
I was there to see the opener, Jukebox the Ghost. I love those guys. They were opening for a band with "Meat" in the title, and I lost all desire to sit through a band I didn't know. But this guy, oh boy! Did he love those Meat dudes. He was willing to pay almost double what I paid for the tickets!
Of course, being the nice (and completely stupid) person I am, it felt good to help him out, so I told him I wanted just the face value. He didn't really believe that the tickets were real, thought, so he dragged me inside to have the ticket counter scan them and verify. Seeing the stupidity in this, I verbalized that I was selling him the tickets. It was comical; the ticket counter didn't want it happening at all, so this fellow had to convince them that I wasn't selling the tickets to him.
Back outside, the man then took me over to the next door convenience store so he could break his large bills. It was in that store that I saw a man who was buying vodka and cat food. Attached to this man's hand was a telephone wire, and at the end of said wire, was a white cat, looking terrified.
I don't know what it was about that image. Something screamed "hilarious!" inside of me, but I just couldn't find the humor in it right then. I still can't find it--I've been considering telling this story for some time, but I can't.
I suppose that my heart went out to this lonely, skinny, husk of an old man, who spent what very little money he apparently had on his cat first, and himself second. It was very sad to me; those are the people I want to help.
This is probably going to sound dumb, but I used to keep a list of the people that I intended to give money to when I had enough to give away. One of my unknown beliefs is person-to-person charity. If I had money to donate or give away, I just couldn't choose a fund, or a charity or anything like that. I'm not against them at all. I just think it's an immensely easy and lazy way to feel good about yourself.
On the other hand, I would rather go out and meet someone in a poorer part of town. There is always someone who's willing to talk, and that is the exact person I want to have money I have worked for. Someone who granted me part of their time to talk to me about whatever, someone who wouldn't necessarily be looking for hand outs or anything. I understand what it's like to financially struggle and I would help myself out if I could.
It's not a crushing weight because of dependencies or desires. I really spend almost all my money on my fiancée and a few other people when I can. I just stopped caring about menial objects and materialistic concepts ever since I came to Ashland.
That's the kind of person I want to help. Someone like me; someone that could use the help, but doesn't really expect it out of society or anyone.
My biggest issue here is people like one of my family members. She donates to a charity monthly and holds herself to high-esteem because she does so. Shortly after, she complains about money, badgering me for the payment that I owe her. It's a fine study in contrasts, sure, but I can't imagine giving to charity when your own family struggles just 5 minutes away. Again, I don't have anything against charities. I think it's great they are in place and offer commendable deeds for those who can afford it. I just think some people donate for the wrong reasons.
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